Please, let me fuck your mom
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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