just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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