So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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