It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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