You're so nebulous sometimes
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
