I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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