So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
