Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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