He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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