he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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