And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
