you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
