we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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