Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Randomize
