keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
