his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
