I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
