come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
