i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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