I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
