Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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