Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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