i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
