maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
are you so shy because you have an std?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
