i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
