I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
