I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
