I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
