You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
