Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
