I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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