His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
