OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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