May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize