whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
