if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
did you just send me my own nude
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
