Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
