Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
