TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize