Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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