roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize