ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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