Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
