i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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