You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
