Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
