I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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