I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
