you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
