I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
