just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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