The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
