normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
