I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
