Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
