I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
