i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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