Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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