we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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